ac

I don't even know where to begin. Its the first few hours of a nine day journey of rediscovering who i thought i was. Because over the last few months I think i've either forgotten or changed completely. It's been so fucked. Something has to be different.

He'll be gone until the 17th. AH. What am i going to do with all this time! I have been feeling so suffocated and so scared, resentful, pitiful, and completely NOT OKAY. These are some things I would hope to have confirmed if i were to ask a professional about my situation. HA. Haha.

I'll be with my family for three days of this--it probably makes me a terrible person that i am DREADING this--for my little brothers high school graduation. I should be proud. I'll probably feel it when i see it. We are just so far apart, I haven't been a part of his life for six years, nooo clue as to who the kid is! All i know is that he listens to pretty terrible music but can play the guitar pretty well, bass so-so, and is learning the drums. Atleast he likes music, that leaves me with hope.

hm. goodnight and good luck.